Ch.6 Honoring Marital Vows with Complete Fidelity

           Throughout the scriptures we are warned of infidelity. In Exodus 20:14 it reads, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”  In The Family: A Proclamation to the World it states that, “God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between and man and a woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife. (Paragraph 4).”  Contrary to such warnings, one doesn’t need to look far to see that many members of society take little heed to such a warning. Such behavior can be seen all around us within our communities.  The indiscretions of politicians, celebrities, and others are openly displayed in public.

            What kind of example is such behavior setting for future generations?  In fact, infidelity has become a growing problem according to the National Marriage Project which conducted research on the issue in 2009.  While researching infidelity in the U.S., this organization found that 21 percent of married men and 14 percent of married women out of a 2,000 person sample had admitted to committing adultery.  On top of this research, it was also found that 3 to 4 percent of married couples have had sexual partners outside their marriage in a given year (Allen, Atkins, Baucom, Snyder, Gordon, & Glass, 2005).  As previously stated, infidelity is incredibly harmful—not only to the spouse being cheated on but on children as well.

            According to an article by Sara Israelsen-Hartley published in The Deseret News, “Experts say children who learn about parental infidelity react similarly to children whose parents divorce, except the emotional responses to cheating are deeper and can have greater, longer-lasting impacts.”  When children are involved, it is vital that parents take them into consideration before making decisions such as infidelity.  Don-David Lusterman, a marriage and family clinical psychologist and author also shared his concerns, “Infidelity violates everything they know about their parents as people.  (Their parents) have told them to be good, tell the truth… and suddenly they discover that their parent is doing something way out of the promises they know that their mom and dad have made to each other. (The Deseret News, paragraph 4,5, 2011).”  Parents can’t possibly expect their children to follow their advice when their actions don’t match up.  It’s often said, that people should lead by word and deed as opposed to one or the other.  Dan O’Conner, a man I spoke to who is the father of five girls gave his thoughts, “Keeping vows teaches children the respect between mother and father.  Anything my wife and I do reflect on the kids and therefore its important that we act the same way we expect our kids to act.  As for infidelity, it is a result of where you allow yourself to be, like going off to bars and places like that without your spouse.”

          Parents need to stay together and avoid temptation in order to keep their marriages strong.  They need to set a good example for their children and future generations to come.  Doing these things will create stronger, happier families.

     

Links to Consider…

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700140213/Its-not-just-about-the-couple-infidelity-can-cause-lasting-damage-to-children.html?pg=all

http://www.aamft.org/imis15/content/Consumer_Updates/Infidelity.aspx