This is not so much the case with today’s
youth. Through research, youth today
feel that marriage and other milestones once used to establish adulthood are no
longer necessary. Rather, the mere
acceptance of responsibility for one’s self is considered to be enough (Nelson
& Barry, 2005).
In the past, marriage was seen as
one’s initiation into adulthood (Schlegel & Barry, 1991).
Societal changes
with how people view marriage and what it means to enter into adulthood has led
to some challenges for youth who are working toward the commitment of marriage
becoming fully responsible adults.
One
such challenge is the lack of emphasis on courtship and dating. Traditionally, youth would find someone they
were interested in, court them, and either marry them—entering straight into
adulthood—or not.
Things have
changed in today’s world. There is a new
term called “emerging adulthood” (Arnett, 2000). This is the extended period between youth and
adulthood (marriage, family, etc.). With
this extended time period, young people preparing for adulthood and marriage
are impacted.
Jason
S. Carroll has said that family professionals have observed differences, or
more so a form of erosion of traditional courtship patterns that guide people
toward marriage. As a result of this
erosion are a set of societal problems preventing people from properly courting
one another and eventually being married. According to Carroll, these societal problems
to include a growing pessimism about marriage and a focus on personal
independence before and after marriage, a primary focus on personal financial
independence for both men and women, widespread sexual permissiveness, and high
rates of couple living together before marriage (Jason S. Carroll, p. 4, 2012).
For these reasons
it is important that people take time to date and court one another properly in
a more traditional way. Doing so allows
for those in a relationship to get to know one another on a more personal
level. With more dating experience, they
are less likely to rush into a marriage, etc. Dating is a vital part of getting to know a
potential spouse and people should be sure to not commit themselves too quickly
to one person.
Dating
and courtship are tools given to us to help guide us to a person who will one
day become our spouse and of whom we will be able to start a family with. We
would be wise to use them.
Links to Consider…
http://cupidselves.com/2012/10/26/dating-and-relationship-boundaries/
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