Ch.3 Foundational Processes for an Enduring, Healthy Marriage

            Within the United States 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. (Americen Psychological Association, http://www.apa.org/topics/divorce)

This is a sad statistic that society should be working to lower as much as possible and as quickly as possible.  To come up with some solutions researchers Stephen F. Duncan and Sara S. McCarty Zasukha have identified 6 processes the lead toward a healthy and enduring marriage.

            “Personal Commitment to the Marriage Covenant” is the first and foundational process.  In this process couples need to realize their marriage has purpose and is more than just a social custom to be taken lightly.  

As stated in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, “Marriage is between a man and a woman is ordained of God” (paragraph 1) also that “husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other” (paragraph 6).  These words show with clarity how serious the commitment of marriage is and should be.

            The second process is “Love and Friendship.”  There are several ways in which married couples can come together to strengthen their love and friendship for one another.  Some suggestions given include finding out how your partner prefers to receive love which can do be done through a “love map” as talked about in a book by Gottman and Silver (1999).  To be more specific, a love map is a book or a series of mental notes in which couples can remember personal information about one another such as dreams, aspirations, like, dislikes, etc.

            “Positive Interactions” is third on the list.  “Positive emotions toward one’s spouse are vital to a healthy marriage.  Negative emotions, if they occur frequently and are allowed to deepen, can threaten a marriage,” said the researchers of the 6 processes.  Couples need to work together to foster positive thoughts about one another and to be sure and show their love to each other often.

            The last remaining processes are accepting influence from one’s spouse, being able to respectfully handle differences and solve problems together, and last to continue courtship through the years.  All 6 processes are great ways to keep a healthy marriage alive and going for the long term.

Links to Consider…

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/29/marriage-advice_n_4005319.html